Daydream Believers

Why Your Inner Circle Is So Important feat. Zxena

April 28, 2022 Elle, Elle Season 2 Episode 20
Daydream Believers
Why Your Inner Circle Is So Important feat. Zxena
Show Notes Transcript Chapter Markers

Our fantastic guest Zxena joins us this week! Zxena is a singer/song writer from Fresno, California who shares with us why it's so important to for your mindset to clean up your inner circle. Zxena also talks about her processes with song writing and her genius behind her viral videos on Tiktok!

FIND ZXENA HERE
IG - https://www.instagram.com/zxenamusic/
TIKTOK - https://www.tiktok.com/@zxenamusic?lang=en
SPOTIFY - https://spoti.fi/3LF1lrT


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You'll find all the songs we mention in the episode here!

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Elle 1: [00:00:00] Hello, and welcome back to daydream believers. I'm Elle 

Elle 2: and I'm Elle

Elle 1: We are a podcast that talks about music, mental health, and mindset.

Elle 2:  I am a life coach who loves to listen to music made prior to the 2010s. 

Elle 1: And I'm a stay at home mom who will listened to any rock song, really. But I might add that I also Dabble you also have my dabble into things as well.

Elle 2:  how have you been Elle?

Elle 1: Not bad, not bad. Pretty good. Pretty good. 

Elle 2: I've had no internet this week, man. That's got to suck. Yeah. It's it's not fun, but it's made me forget what I used to do before internet, which was playing Nintendo 64 every 

Elle 1: day, the 64. Those were the 

Elle 2: times me and some Mario kart have been getting along like wildfire.

I love 

Elle 1: mario kart mario party 

Elle 2: oh yeah. 

Elle 1: Marie Paul, the, I can't even tell you. I think I don't mean to brag. Oh yes. But I [00:01:00] think between me and my brothers we've played the most Murray potty that anyone has ever played being cool. Big coal. 

Elle 2: Yes. I'll. I'll pretend that it's real.

Elle 1: My point is that we've played a ridiculous amount of Murray potty. One, one. Dabble into three. Yeah. But mostly one or two, we still play it these days. We get together every soft term, which is play 64. Yeah. 

Elle 2: I just love the 64. Yeah. Who is your go-to? Mario Kashi. Yashi. Everyone's a Yashi person. Everyone's a Yashi person.

I'm a warrior person. I can't pick anyone. Wow. 

Elle 1: No, I 

Elle 2: don't know what it was like. I think I would've been like about eight years old and I was like, this is. This is my guy. Who's got your guy. He's never 

Elle 1: not been my guy since that's all right. Not, not everyone goes for warrior. 

Elle 2: Yeah. Yeah. I know. And like when I played it on switch with my friends a few weeks back and they were like, why did you pick warrior?

Like, he's [00:02:00] always the slowest, like, because, and I feel like people just think, cause he's a bit chunky that like his car won't go as fast, but we still 

Elle 1: get there in the end. I feel like that's a solid theory though. You always go for peach or toad. You work up because 

Elle 2: peaches always 

Elle 1: bloody winds. I never understand.

There's a reason she's aligned. 

Elle 2: Ah, it's a frustrating that page every time. No, I don't want to be peach. I haven't debtor against peach. I don't know why it just shows. I feel like peaches in the same category as cats and I don't like cats and I don't like peach. Like I like the fruit peach, but I don't 

Elle 1: like the character peach, Ella.

I feel like you just insults me. Huh? No in that 

Elle 2: hardcore, 

Elle 1: hardcore. I love 

Elle 2: cats and I like peach. Hm. The fruit, 

Elle 1: the fruit. I don't mind the character. I'm just kidding. 

Elle 2: The free to great, great ice TPG. 

Elle 1: Lovely. Oh, lovely, lovely, lovely. 

Elle 2: But yeah, other than Mara cart, I have been dabbling into. Thinking about picking up a 

Elle 1: [00:03:00] devil level.



Elle 2: just got doubling my head. I've been having my eye on the monopoly board. Like, should I start a game? Like how much longer will I not have internet for? I think I'm going to have to wait because of the long weekend I'm going to have to wait, uh, probably another week, no songs. So I think maybe bring out the monopoly time.

Yeah. If you want to start a fight with someone. Yes. Very true. Yes. My. When we played monopolies together, she genuinely. Was probably the most competitive person I've ever played monopoly with. And I think that was the last time I played monopoly. So maybe I shouldn't bring it out. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. That was intense.

Intense people take that thing way too seriously. 

Elle 1: Yes. Yes. Whenever I play with my older brother. Yeah, it sucks. Oh, why? Because he always wins. Always wins. It's like secret formula. And then I'm like, 

Elle 2: damn you when sometimes, but most of them, I just end up like bankrupt in debt, which. Pretty similar to realize[00:04:00] 

has been another phase. I just want to get to a trigger happy and I'm like, yes, I'll buy all the house. 

Zxena: And then on lands on 

Elle 2: no one lands in the ones. I think, because you know why I really liked the brown, the first few next to the go. I love those ones. So I was. Yeah, they're so cute. And like everyone, but I love light blue, 

Elle 1: not the light blue, the brown line, the light blue and the brand and the crappiest colors of folds of colors.

Elle 2: No, I like the brown, not the light blue. I'm a brown. I like, I pick everything based on colors. I like, so I picked the Browns, the yellows, and I dabble in like, I, if I can land on those fancy ones, what are they? The dark blues at the end. I'll take them. 

Elle 1: I dunno. I dunno what they called because for years and years and years, we only played the AFL themed 

Elle 2: monopoly, monopoly[00:05:00] 

ages. I played me, my sister used to play the Simpsons monopoly, where you had credit cards. Boy was that. It was so fun. Credit cards. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. My, my Beatles monopoly has Kish, which is what I play as an adult now. But. When we, me and my sister, we're like the only kids around town that had the credit card monopoly, and boy were we popular at our house, boy?

Oh, 

Elle 1: Ella, shall we get onto the formula shell? No, it sounds bloody lovely. Sounds bloody lovely. All right. It is that time of the episode where we like to talk about what was number one in music history. This week now, L some doozies for you, do you now? Yes, I do. Yes, I do. A 1957. All shook up by Elvis was number one.

Oh, jam such a jam.

Elle 2: oh, your Elvis [00:06:00] impersonations. Love him. Thank you, Al and I, all I ever want 

Elle 1: is for someone to say that I do good impressions. That's all I want. 

Elle 2: But you're a tough crowd. Sometimes I really am saying it's good. I'm like, I want to cry 

Elle 1: in 1970, ABC by Jackson five was such a good song, 

Elle 2: so good. Oh, I just crazy to me that Michael had like a career that took him from genuine challenge.

To death, but the whole process, whole life, his whole life. 

Elle 1: Yes. Yes. The man never had a childhood. Very sad. It is very sad. Although speaking of this song, I don't know about you, but whenever I think of Jackson five, a lot of the times I think about daddy daycare, 

Elle 2: I was going to say it a second ago. I'm like, what's ABC.

The one I'm thinking of. I'm like, yes. A hundred percent. I'm thinking of, I love that movie. May I say, especially. The dad when Eddie [00:07:00] Murphy pretends to be an elephant and makes that sound. I don't know why that is constantly in my head. What, when he's like

that. And when that kid like poops all over the bathroom and then 

Elle 1: everywhere, if he's like, oh, so good. The part where I've got to ask the other guy's name. Real-life is it Jeff Green? I want to say. Or is that his name from curb? Your enthusiasm? Yeah, I dunno. Jeff gallon. I think Jeff Green is his character.

Love that actor. Anyway, that guy. He is doing like the mashup of songs.

Elle 2: he's great. I feel like watching 

Elle 1: it now of that movie. I love it. It's a great comfort movie. 

Elle 2: Yes, definitely. 

Elle 1: In 2012, somebody that I used to know by got here and Kimbro is nimble, such a song that was huge 

Elle 2: at the time. That was a massive song. Messy, messy mess. Very memorable film clip. 

Elle 1: Yes. I [00:08:00] love a good 

Elle 2: memorable film clip.

Yeah. With the paint and like, yes, 

Elle 1: they meshed into the wall. It was insane. I love it. That was really cool. That was a very popular song. It really was. 

Elle 2: And Kimbra, I think very underrated artists. One of my closest friends was obsessed with Kimbra really. Um, and I didn't realize like that. Like she had other music other than that song until that friend told me.

Oh, 

Elle 1: so yeah. Very thankful. I never knew. I never knew. Although I saw her on Tik TOK, a video of her floating around of her recording that song. Oh really? Without it, it was no instruments in it. It was just her vocal. She sounds amazing. 

Elle 2: Insane insane. Pay a beautiful song. I think that that is, I think even to this day, a lot of people say like, that's still one of like a very 

Elle 1: talkative, very good song.

I listened to it a lot. Back then. I was one of those people I was on board. Yeah. I love that song. Yeah. And even these days when I hear it, It sits well with me. I agree. Well, we also like to do on the [00:09:00] podcast is tell you who you share a birthday with. Yes. So when we have a guest on the podcast, we usually like to use their birthday and now our wonderful guests center, her birthday was on the 12th of November.

So Zina, if you're listing. You share a birthday with Neil young. Ooh, Marianne. 

Elle 2: Nice. It's pretty cool. I have like post to be she ankle. Now when she posted the beat or something like that, that song I remember going, it was all the rage at the clubs. A 

Elle 1: couple of years back at the, at the clubs, the clubs. Of course, of course.

I really lucky song icebox. Good song. Yeah, that's a good song. That's a good song. I like the, the music video. He does this thing where he pushes his chest back, but he's head stays there. Oh, I love that look. 

Elle 2: Yeah. Was I wish sometimes that I was a talented dancer like 

Elle 1: that. Oh, I am the opposite of a talented dancer in my 

Elle 2: mind.

I feel like I'm super good. And then like, my sister will record me and I'm like, oh, I am ongoing as hell. [00:10:00] Like just so uncomfortable to watch, but. Just it just 

Elle 1: to make me feel good. Although I can say that you are actually a nice dancer. So are you though? Yeah, but I stick to the same thing. Now I click my fingers and I move side to side, like in heat, you really do your 

Elle 2: fingers a lot.

I like it though. 

Elle 1: Waive my finger around a lot.

Elle 2: Anyway, we have an amazing guest with us this week. Her name is Zena. Yes. And she is a singer songwriter tip 

Elle 1: top creator. Yeah. She has these wonderful teak talks where she does mashups of an artist song and a different artist lyrics. Her craziest one is tailored. Song with Cardi B lyrics. So great. Amazing.

Yeah. Very, 

Elle 2: very talented girl. I like her original content. Um, yes, super. So super, super excited to speak with her today. Yes, 

Elle 1: please. Guys. After you hear the interview today, we're going to leave her Spotify and all of her [00:11:00] information, the description down below, you need to go listen to her original songs as well.

She is fantastic in saying, yeah, so we're going to talk to Zena after the break, but before we do go on that break, we just want to ask that you follow. Us on all of our social medias and all of our platforms that you use to listen to us. We'll bet. Show appreciative. Like, yes, we would. Very indeed. Yes. And I also want to mention something called buy me a coffee now, what that is.

As you can click on the website, that's the now description. And then on that website, you can donate what a cost to a cup of coffee to us, to our podcasts. It would support us greatly and we would really appreciate it, but Hey, you also don't have to do it. You know, you don't have to do it. You don't have to, but I mean, it'd be nice.

Nice, 

Elle 2: nice. It's a nice gesture. 

Elle 1: All right. When we get back, we're going to be talking to Xena 

Elle 2: and we're back with Xena. Xena. 

Elle 1: Welcome. Welcome. 

Zxena: Hello. [00:12:00] Hi. How you going? I'm doing good. How are you doing? 

Elle 1: We're good. We're 

Elle 2: good. We're good. We want to hear about you. What are you up to? What have you 

Zxena: tell us about right now?

I'm working on a couple more singles, which I'm getting ready to go up to LA and record. So excited. I've just been working on the whole tick talk thing. I feel like it's kind of, everything's a little bit scrambled, but I feel like it's always kind of scrambled does it not? I feel like my brain is always going everywhere, especially.

And the creative. Yeah. Most of he needed a bit 

Elle 1: of scramble. You need a, you need laugh to be a little bit of interesting. It's a bit of salt and pepper for life, 

Zxena: right? Just like, who wants to know everything that's gonna happen next? I, I actually, me, I'm like, actually 

Elle 1: I'm a planner. I need to know everything and I don't like change.

So. 

Zxena: It needs, I don't like change at all. I'm actually the worst. I'm like what? We're going to switch it up. Like why I'm used to [00:13:00] 

Elle 1: keep everything 

Elle 2: I've always known. 

Elle 1: Exactly. Wow. Going to LA though. That's very exciting. Where are you from? 

Zxena: I'm from Fresno. So that's about, I want to say like three and a half hours away from LA.

So it's not that far. I mean, it's a bit of a drive, but it's not. I'm lucky to be as close as I am instead of like being from a whole different state. And then I would only be able to go to LA, like maybe a couple of times a year, but I can really just go whenever I want. Yeah. 

Elle 2: That's really cool. So awesome.

So tell us 

Elle 1: about you. Tell us about your singles coming up to tell us everything we need to know all of it. Yeah. 

Zxena: Okay. Yeah. Right now I have some singles. I have a project with a DJ coming. So that's in the works. Yeah. And then I have a single that's just Zena. So that's actually going to be a collaboration with the DJ that my research actually has contacts with.

And then I have another single that I'm hoping to release in about a couple months, which is going to be like a fun summer, kind of upbeat kind of [00:14:00] love that track. And then. Right now, actually, I've been focusing a lot on tech talk just because I'm trying to grow that, that seems to be the platform that everyone's blowing up on.

So, yeah, Elle and 

Elle 1: I were actually talking about this before, but can you actually get anywhere now without building up your social media presence? You know? 

Elle 2: Yeah, exactly. It's like a straight answer. Like 

Elle 1: it's no, you can, whether it's a business or you want to be a musician, not, you have to have that presence.

It's just how. 

Zxena: But everything's 

Elle 2: online. Yeah. Your social media is like your new website now. Yeah. 

Zxena: It's like your resume literally. Yeah, 

Elle 2: exactly. Speaking of your teak talks like that's where we found you as the second I scrolled across your I'm pretty sure. The first one I watched was your Taylor swift cardio.

John. Yes. Actual genius, right? Yes. Ah, I absolutely loved it and I was just like, I need to have this girl on the podcast. I could tell that you have such a creative and like original [00:15:00] mind. And it's just, it's nice to see original content as well. Like something I hadn't seen anyone else to do on the platform yet.

Zxena: Oh my God. That makes me so happy. How did you come up with that? I actually had the idea a while back. What if I mashed up two artists? So at first it was Taylor slipped and Travis Scott, but then the whole Travis. You know, that went down and I was like, you know what? I'm not, absolutely not. I was like, put him on my bed, but I still had that idea.

And I was like, you know, what, who else is super big right now? Who is kind of like the complete opposite? And I was like, oh my God. Cardi B like I was like, yes, her, I just, I started looking at like, Taylor Swift's karaoke is online and I just started pulling up Cardi B's lyrics and seeing whatever like fits and the melodies and that one just worked.

And I was like, you know what, I'll try it out. I'll see if it works. I'll see people like it. And then it just, it grew, it w it blew up really quick. I remember I was at work and I just kept looking at the stats and I was like, oh my [00:16:00] God. Like, I feel like this is actually going to be like one of the biggest, and it is probably my most viral.

That's 

Elle 2: insane that and the Ariana Grande day one was so well done as well. Ah, so good. Just like putting all her song, like tiles in one song. It just, yeah, it was so good. Can I just say also, 

Elle 1: I also like. Justin Bieber 

Elle 2: impression. Yes. I love your SAP impression. I 

Zxena: love it. Oh my God. That actually makes me so happy.

Cause I felt like I was like, oh my God, I'm onto something. I was like, honey, I was having fun watching it. I sent it to my friends and they were like, this is so funny. I posted it, nothing. I was like what a huge flaw, but I'm so glad. You liked it? I like to watch it. I think it's, 

Elle 1: I see that is my kind of humor.

I love impressions, very sketchy, SNL, humor, love that, but I always find that it's the videos that you always hope will take off are the ones that don't 

Elle 2: [00:17:00] or certainly with anything we do. 

Zxena: Yeah. Oh, a hundred percent. Thank you. That was really fun. I think that day I did the demo of the bottle and the Justin Bieber one in one day.

And I think I was just kind of having fun. Like I was just on a little skit, a skit, like I was just going off. Yeah. 

Elle 2: To do things for you as well. Yeah, exactly. 

Elle 1: I've definitely made stuff for tick tock that I've never posted because I thought that's too ridiculous. 

Zxena: No, no, I have to post. You have to 

Elle 1: do it. I know, like, I think Ella, you know what I'm talking about?

I did this reel of me doing Adam Sandler. Eighties. Absolutely ridiculous. Maybe I'll post it one day. 

Zxena: no, I see. That's the thing. One of my ideas actually for the impressions, because I suck at impressions, actually, I feel bad. I can not do accents. I can't do impressions. I was like, my voice is, would you get like, I, I get more of [00:18:00] myself into anyone else, but I was like, that could be really funny.

Yeah. If I did an impression and I did it badly, so I was on a title. It like rating my horrible impressions, but I think I ended up just doing like Justin Bieber impressions. Cause I thought that was good enough. I was like, maybe I am good at it, but I should've went with my original idea. Maybe I would've got more views.

Elle 2: We do it anyway. 

Elle 1: I loved it though. I loved it. I think that was actually, I love your mash house, but I think that was one of my favorite video that. A lot. Really? Yeah. It, it tickled me. It was very funny. Yeah. 

Elle 2: It showed like your human side. Like, it was nice. I love things like that. That, and I liked when you made your video about building women up and like showing them how to beat, like teaching them how to be confident because you do ooze confidence.

Like if anyone's listening and you're going through her Tik TOK right now, like doesn't she just ooze confidence, ooze confidence. Yeah. It's insane. 

Elle 1: Yeah, it's really good. It's really good for [00:19:00] people like me, especially like I grew up extremely shy. And I feel like I only the last year or so I've come out of my shell and the podcast is really helping because I'm forced to talk to new people, but so good.

You're killing it one day. You're going to be 

Zxena: a stoma. Oh my God. I'm I'm, that's what I'm going for. I'm like, I can see 

Elle 1: already a stock and see. Oh, that's exactly 

Elle 2: right. It's the ration from like, for your songs and stuff. I know you're a songwriter as well. Yes. Um, where do you get the inspiration to, like for your lyrics and everything like that?

Zxena: Is it for Tik TOK or anything? Like my own, 

Elle 2: your own music? Yeah. But even. 

Zxena: My own music. You know what it's, I've never been the type. Okay. First I'm never been a type of songwriter to really be like, I'm a Sam Smith songwriter, you know, who just vulnerable pores, all their emotions out. Very storytelling. I love that type of music, but that's never been me because I growing up, I never listened to that kind of.[00:20:00] 

Yeah. Like, I want to say like my likes songs on Spotify, maybe only 20% are like sad songs, but a lot of them are like party songs, like upbeat, just really Brittany Beyonce, like really women empowering sexy diva. Yes. And I feel like that's because I just always listened to music to feel. I never really wanted to express myself like with music.

I feel like maybe that's because I kind of grew up with a lot of knowledge already, like on how I was feeling. And I understood the way that I felt, because like my mom is a marriage family therapist, so she kind of taught us growing up. Like, this is the way you feel. And this is because of this and this.

So I didn't really need to like go to music to kind of be like my source of art. And is anyone else feeling like this? Cause my mom will be like, yeah, dude. Like they always go into my house. 

Elle 2: Yeah. And so you that validation? Yeah. Oh 

Zxena: yeah. So I feel like I just really listened to a lot of upbeat music, like black IPS, like [00:21:00] Briana.

Yeah. And so I feel like for my own inspiration for black opium that did come from a breakup, dress me in gold that, you know what, I wish I could tell you a process, but I feel like it just kind of come. Okay. Or maybe I'll just get, have like a phrase in my head, like at first dressing and gold was going to be unfold me, but I don't, we didn't really like that title as much.

And so I was just kind of thinking like, okay, like kind of just going through titles in my head. And I asked my producer, I was at about like, just me and gold. And he was like, oh, that is so cool. And so we were like, okay, cool. And then we just wrote it. So I feel like a lot of times, like, we'll find something really cool and I'll be like, oh my God, that's it.

Or I'll just be writing and whatever kind of comes off the top of my head. That's, that's what it's going to be, you know? Yeah. 

Elle 1: That is amazing. You can't teach that kind of stuff. Yeah. You're born with that talent to be able to put words on paper. Create music from it. That's insane. And just to work around a title, that's really fascinating because I've heard of a [00:22:00] lot of musicians say that that's what they do.

Yeah. I don't know if you listen to like the Beatles or anything like that, but Paul McCartney would honestly, he would find even just a small tune that he liked or a title that he liked and he'd create a whole fricking. It's amazing that you can do that. And also some people need that history of their life to be able to write their songs.

You don't need that. You can just come up with it like that. That's amazing. 

Yeah. 

Zxena: Thank you. Yeah. I definitely feel that. I mean, I have songwriters with me, so it's not like I'm writing the whole song alone. Like, I, I feel like my best songs, I always start it. I'll start the song and then I'll take it to someone because I'll usually get stuck on like the second half, because I'm like, okay.

I wrote the first part and the chorus. I'm like, now, where do I go with the second half of the song? And I'll take it to someone and we'll kind of rework it, but yeah, it's always been just a former. The idea and the concept, and then I will bring it to other people. So I can't say it's all me, like, I definitely am surrounded by like [00:23:00] very talented songwriters and artists and producers who have amazing input, you 

Elle 1: know?

Yeah, of course, but give yourself the credit. You're telling it. 

Elle 2: Yeah. Even writing the verse and the first chorus like that is like even coming up with the title, that stuff that is hard. Like, even for me with my coaching business, like I have to think of titles for like my programs and stuff. And sometimes I'm stuck for literally like two months, like being like, okay, what am I going to call this thing?

And titles 

Zxena: are so hard. 

Elle 2: Yeah. Exactly. So give yourself the credit. Like obviously there's always going to be a team around you, but you also have so much like working to that. Don't let imposter syndrome 

Zxena: get you. Oh my God. I'm like, you're right. You're right 

Elle 1: now. I can't even think of a damn caption on Instagram.

Sometimes. 

Elle 2: Dude, Instagram captions are hard. 

Zxena: I feel like those are the hardest, the most simple, but it's like, why? I don't know why it has so much importance. I swear. People are just like, oh, read the caption. Yeah, exactly. It has to be perfect. [00:24:00] 

Elle 1: Perfect. It 

Zxena: has to be that. What emoji do I put 

Elle 1: the blue love heart or the green?

I don't know exactly. 

Elle 2: I'm dealing with just crazy. Hey, something we ask all of our guests as well on the podcast is to list out three songs that they feel like connected to. I would love to hear what your songs of connection are. 

Zxena: Okay. So this one was kind of a hard one, because again, I feel like. Really have songs that I'm truly connected to just because I, I feel like all my songs that I listened to our party songs, I'm just like, that's fine.

I'm just like listening to like club music. I'm like, oh yeah, I'm so connected. Right? No, but I think three songs that I'm really enjoying right now, I think that's kind of probably a better way for me. Um, yeah, I would say is play God by Katie Turner. First of all, I just love her voice. Or just amazing.

Basically, she's talking about being in a [00:25:00] relationship and it worked doesn't work out, but she can't play God and fix it. And I was like, oh my God, like that is. Relatable, but also also perfect. Like you can't play, you can't be the creator and just like, make it happen the way you want to happen. You know, like it's two people, you know, you can't force someone to do it, you know?

Yeah. So I really love that song. The second song is meet me halfway by black eyed peas. I just feel like that's such a feel good song every time it comes on. I'm just like, oh my God, the groove, the grooves. Amazing. 

Elle 1: Um, I tell you, I think that's my favorite black IP song as well. That is, 

Elle 2: and he's a really good song.

I love that copays. They have, they have no bad song. Let's be honest. Like there was no bad soul. Yeah. 

Zxena: Iconic song. Amazing. They are iconic. Yes. And then, oh, okay. I'm torn between this third song. So. Say [00:26:00] it right by Nelly Furtado. I love Nelly Furtado. I grew up listening to her. My mom would play her all the time and then, you know, no I'm going to say.

But that's a good song. Like whenever it comes on, I just think of like listening to my mom, playing it and when I was really young and yeah, I just, it's, it's a great song. 

Elle 2: I love that song. I love Patato. Yeah, she's really good. Yeah. And the fact that she was like, she had her child and she was like on tour with her.

Like, she was like a, kick-ass like empowering woman in my mind. I think I'm pretty sure she had a child with her, like with her little daughter. Oh my God. 

Zxena: Yeah. And that must be so difficult. Like being on tour is already stressful enough. And now you're bringing your little kid on like yeah, yeah, exactly.

Like 

Elle 2: young, young kid, or she was like a like little kid, like not a baby, but I'm pretty sure I told them all documentary, I think like slightly, like under the age 

Elle 1: of six. Oh my God. Cause I have a toddler. My son's. And the thought of doing stuff. Like we[00:27:00] 

Elle 2: go to the shops with you. 

Elle 1: Imagine on a whole, my 

Zxena: life, my 

Elle 2: God, he rules 

Elle 1: my life, that little dude. So that's amazing. 

Elle 2: That's amazing. Do you have any, like artists that inspire you, that when you listen to them when you were younger or anything like that, they're kind of like. You can go muse and use without thinking of like the bloody band, your Fox right now, but like

any artists out there that you felt like they have impacted how you've turned out to be as a singer? 

Zxena: You know what? I don't want this to come out the wrong way. Cause I love her Ariana. I love it because I get, I get compared to her vocally a lot. And it's like that thing where you want to be your own separate person, you want to be in your own artists.

And it's like such a compliment, but it's also like, I don't want to be the next Ariana Grande day or the next, you know how they're always like, oh, this is the next Beyonce. She's the next Martin, Carrie, whatever. It's like, that's not what you want to do, but [00:28:00] I will say Arianna Grande day. Like I, I think it was, I think it's yours truly.

That's one of her first albums. I, I listened to that one. 13. And that's when I was first discovering my voice and taking vocal lessons. And I would literally belt her music as loud as I could. And I was sucked. I remember there was like notes. I couldn't reach. And I was so mad because I was like, how did she do it?

But she really influenced me not. So I think once I started my own project, when I was like 19, I kind of started breaking off and like discovering my own voice and my own tone and what I like and my own melodies. And, but she. Really did influence me. And when I was even younger than that, it was Kelly. Oh, I love 

Elle 2: all that is so good because literally every time I was in my room at home, I would practice Kelly clocks and miss independent.

That was like my song that her music is just so, 

Elle 1: so like it's. Yeah. I love it. It's it's genuine. It's very genuine music. 

Elle 2: Yes. 

Zxena: [00:29:00] I loved her. I love that. When I was really young starting to seen, but I didn't really realize that that's what I was passionate about. I think I just really liked it. And so I would always listen to Kelly Clarkson.

Then when I actually started taking vocal lessons, that's when Ariana Grande, I started becoming really good. And so then I switched to her cause I was like, oh, you know what? This is more current, more pop. Like I was 13. I was like, she's I want to be here. 

Elle 2: Yeah. We've all been in that phase. I think I've even been in that phase and I'm not even, I'm like influenced her.

How I dress and how I went through a phase where I only wear my hair up in like a half ponytail because we love it. 

Elle 1: I think we've all been in exactly. Now. I did the same thing with my hair. It was a very Anna grounded, but this was when she was on victorious. Oh, you haven't watched that 

Zxena: show. Oh yeah. Oh my God.

I love the red. 

Elle 2: Yes, 

Elle 1: loved it. Loved it. Loved it. I was like 18 when I was watching it, 

Elle 2: but yes, I really loved watching[00:30:00] 

well, something else we like to talk with our guests about is just like their journey with mental health or their journey with confidence or anything like that. So I would love to hear what your journey has looked like. I know you mentioned that you had a pretty strong emotions. Understanding growing up.

Like, I would love to hear more about that, the sad, but it's very rare to have someone from a, a child be able to be so in tune with their emotions and be able to. Manage them the way you just explained before. So we'd love to know what that life was like. 

Zxena: Yeah. So it was pretty cool. I mean, it was, it was nice.

Um, I feel like more of that was kind of directed towards my parents getting a divorce though. So I more had like an understanding of that more than like an understanding of me. I feel like, you know, when you're becoming a teen and you have to understand who you are and kind of grow into yourself and kind of figure out what your morals are.

They are, um, like separately from your parents and like your friends and all [00:31:00] that. So I felt like I had like a really strict. Understanding of dealing with my parents' divorce. Like it didn't, I don't remember ever being super, super upset or kind of being like the child. That's like, oh, they broke up because of me, like I never, I never thought I never experienced that.

Yeah. Yeah. But I feel like it actually took me a little while for my own self-esteem to grow. I used to be really, really, really insecure. And honestly, like it took me a while to get out of that. 19 before I even started kind of just going my own route and still not even fully going my own route, but just starting to make choices for myself because I feel like I, I always lean on other people to make choices for me because I was so afraid of making the wrong choice.

Yeah. And so I feel like hand-in-hand in music. I would hold myself back a lot as well, because I was. I don't want other, what are people gonna say about [00:32:00] me and I, because I cared so much, what people would say, I took it really hard to, like, I just wanted to be like the biggest people pleaser on earth.

Like I swear that was it. Like I just wanted, I was like, everyone has to love me. And everyone has to be my friend. And if someone isn't my friend, I'm doing something wrong. And I just, you know what, that, that took a while. I feel like that kind of came up. Cleaning my circle as, as much as love the same light.

Yeah. I hate, I hate saying, oh, my circle is so small or what? Or, you know what I mean? Like, I, I watch who's in my circle, but it's, I said this in a tech talk and I said, um, it was that woman empowering one where I was like, clean your circle, like watching your friends are. And it really was my first. Like it's like, were they horrible people?

No, they weren't horrible, but where they, the people for me, once those friendships ended, for whatever reason, I finally started to like, think about myself and not what these people, what I would think these friends would think of me, even if they were my closest friend, [00:33:00] my best friend or whatnot, I was just so I wanted approval, you know, you know, like a lot of people want approval from their family, but mine was always friends, social approval.

I wanted peer approval. Yeah. Yeah. So I feel like definitely cleaning out my friends and just kinda distancing myself. Just choosing who I allow to get really close to me. That helped a lot because once I started getting healthy people in my life, I started to make healthier habits and I started to focus on me and I wouldn't have as much anxiety.

Like I used to have a lot of anxiety I used to have, I don't want to say it's anger cause I never had anger, but I would have a lot of frustration. And it was just, it was just because it wasn't me, you know, like I was just following these people's habits and I would be around them so much that it would just affect me.

That you know, it, it just wasn't the people I should have been hanging around. 

Elle 2: Yeah, it would deplete your energy, like trying to show up for them and like constantly trying to gain their approval. And of course you would feel frustrated because you're kind of left there being [00:34:00] like I'm never enough. No, I think I can genuinely relate with everything you said as well.

You've said. Yeah. Especially when it comes to like that whole people pleasing thing. I think that's something a lot of people deal with and you actually vocalize that really well. The way you explained that, just now. Thank you very, very well. Yes. Very well-spoken. 

Elle 1: Yeah. It's a hard habit to break. Yeah. Eat is a hard habit.

I have been in the same spot as you people pleasing, but mine was a bit more directed to family, my parents in particular, so that that's a tough nut to crack the fact that you've been able to do it. Is, and you've realized yourself, you know, it is my circle. It is people bringing me down. I need to clear your circle.

As you say, to be able to realize that yourself is really good and to actually be able to do it because there's that other side of your brain where it's like, oh, but wait, what do they think? If I start distancing myself, panic of 

Elle 2: the conflict. 

Elle 1: Oh, my Lord. 

Zxena: And I think a lot of it was like fear of abandonment.

[00:35:00] Like I did it, I wanted to people please, because if I didn't and if I did something that upset them, they would just leave. And because that's, you know, typically like those people you're trying to please, that's how they are. They're just like all or nothing, but it's, that's not how healthy relationships work.

That's, it's not all or nothing. Like you both put in work like friendships, relationships, family, whatever, you know, Definitely. It would be like people pleasing so they wouldn't leave because I was afraid of being left. And it's, you know, I would say your situation with people pleasing with your family.

That's definitely harder than friends because. Just walk away from family, you know? Yeah. But it's definitely like learning to put up boundaries and just kind of listening to yourself. 

Elle 2: Yes. No, a hundred percent boundaries in place. I think that, especially like a lot of people, like a lot of young girls, I feel, especially with the social media age as well.

It, when it comes to like friendship groups and things like that, it's all. To do with like judgment or fear of comparison, like constantly comparing yourself to others and being [00:36:00] fearing that judgment from your peers. When you're trying to pretty much be someone that you're not, it can like deplete your energy completely to the point where you're like, you don't even recognize yourself and like actually really impact your own mental health.

So to be able to like separate that and understand that like, Like, I need to put this boundary in place and to be able to express that to that friendship group. Like if anyone's listening here and they want to start implementing boundaries with their friends, if they know that their energy is being, um, kind of like energy vampire by your friends.

Yes. That's a good way to put it. Sucking the energy out of you. Yeah. That's perfect. It's important. Yeah. It's important for you to like look around and see how you feel around certain friends, because that's something I've learned to do in the last like, well, in my early twenties, I like looked around at my friendship groups and I was like, okay, when I'm hanging out with this person, how do I actually feel about myself when I'm with that person?

If I'm reading it out of 10 and if it's not like above it an eight, why am I still 

Zxena: evaluating exactly. Right. Or feeling like you [00:37:00] have to walk on eggshells around them. Yes, exactly. And of course, there's still, you can't cut everybody out of your life and just have like big people, but you definitely. Your, your sense to that?

Is that the correct way to say like your, your 6 cents or whatever you want to say, it gets stronger and you just, you know, like as soon as I have like any feeling that if I feel like I'm going to feel bad for counseling, or I feel weird, or like, oh, maybe I should like wear this more lighthearted. When I know that I wouldn't have to do that with another friend something's going off here.

Like, why, why am I doing that? Why am I, why am I people pleasing cards coming in? Like 

Elle 2: I do the same thing. And you can definitely tell you, like, okay, I'm altering how I usually speak for this person. And it's like, okay, is that you got to look internally and work out why you're doing that. Is it something that you can resolve on your own?

Or is it a conversation you need to have with that person? And you need to implement those boundaries in place, but yeah, I feel like that's such an important message to shout out and it's crazy the impact it makes. When you start putting you [00:38:00] start having an inner circle of people that build you up and whether it's small or large.

It makes such a difference to the support you have in your lack tribe, essentially, so that you can start focusing on yourself and actually building that self confidence that self love and like compassion. Because if you don't have the right people around you, it's just going to make it harder for you to work on yourself as well.

Oh my God. And you 

Zxena: know what, how much of a difference it makes is a million. It's a million because thinking two, three years back, I was just so. To think of how I was in my state of mind and my confidence level. It's just kind of heartbreaking, which of course I'm, I'm thankful for it because you know, you have to go through those things and changes, right.

um, yeah, it's, I'm a hundred, a hundred million times more better than I am. And I never would have thought that I would have gotten to this place. I think that. I just kind of accepted. I was like, oh, I have, I'm always sad. Or I'm always annoyed or Moisy and [00:39:00] rear like these P I'm never enough, you know, like I was just so low, but once you clean those people out and you start to just listen to yourself and just be around healthy people.

It's a world's difference. And honestly, a lot of those people, you try to please don't have the same morals as you. So I feel like you're just shifting everything. You're shifting everything and you're just being who you don't want to be. You're acting the way you don't want to act. It's it, it just, everything kind of falls into each other.

It's like an. 

Elle 2: Exactly. When you're not living into your values, then like you're not really living into yourself and then yeah. Yeah. And then it becomes a lot harder to then find like who you are and try and really identify yourself afterwards when you've left that kind of group. So I think it's really important.

I really think that's an awesome message that you're giving out to people. And I think that like a lot of people can take away a lot of like good nuggets from that conversation there. Yeah. 

Elle 1: I hope so. Okay. Zina, thank you so much for joining us today. [00:40:00] Fantastic interview. Yeah. Amazing. We enjoy talking to you so much.

Zxena: Likewise. So fun. Tell us 

Elle 1: what you want our listeners to know. What do you want to plug? Yeah, I think 

Zxena: my music artists comes first. Stick talk comes. Second. Social media comes second. So I am Zena on all music platforms that Z X, E N a, and then all my social media is yeah. So that's kind of where I, I throw up my.

Taylor swift Cardi B mash-ups.

very awful impression. 

Elle 1: Good. You know, I am the queen of awful impressions. Elle can attest to that. 

Elle 2: You do better than me. I just didn't give it a go. 

Zxena: I won't believe it until I see it. So you need to throw that those impressions up on Tik TOK. Oh, Dan, Adam, 

Elle 1: I need to do that Adam Stanley impression and just put the 

Zxena: field with those.

So [00:41:00] viral stop. It doesn't even matter if it was good or bad, like either way. That's 

Elle 2: what I'm afraid. 

Zxena: Oh my God. It feels so good though. Viral. I did it. It's not impossible. 

Elle 2: Thank you 

Zxena: so much. we really thank you so much for having me. 

Elle 1: Okay. We'll see. We'll talk 

Zxena: soon. Okay. All right. Sounds so good.

Elle 1: Zemp was amazing. Yeah. I really loved what we had to talk about 

Elle 2: today. Me 

Elle 1: too. She, I'm not going to lie. She enlightened Bain was a lot of things. 

Elle 2: Yeah, definitely. I think what we spoke about in terms of friendship groups and yeah. How important that inner circle is, is so, so valuable. 

Elle 1: So most definitely. I really wish I had her around me when I was in my teens.

And, or even early twenties. Yeah. She would have been very valuable as a friend. Oh, definitely. A hundred 

Elle 2: percent. 

Elle 1: Yeah. She seems like a really wonderful person. 

Elle 2: I really, [00:42:00] really enjoyed speaking with her and getting to know 

Elle 1: me too. And we're really grateful that she was on the podcast today. If you want to check at any of Zena's social medias, all her original songs on Spotify, we're going to leave everything in the description down below.

We are also going to put her song on our playlist that we've got on Spotify, but again, we will leave everything in the description. 

Elle 2: Yeah. If you would like to work with me on a one-on-one coaching basis or even group coaching, I am found through the links below at EMT coaching on Instagram 

Elle 1: and guys, just to remind you, I also have another podcast it's called three tickets to, if you haven't noticed through these episodes, I love movies.

I keep bringing them up. That podcast is about movies. Great. Check it out. If that's something that you're interested in, again, leave it all in the description of the episode. All right guys, until next week we will see you. Same. Bye. Bye.


(Cont.) Why Your Inner Circle Is So Important feat. Zxena
(Cont.) Why Your Inner Circle Is So Important feat. Zxena